Lexie. (Taken with instagram)

blutundschonheit:

operationkino:

I feel like I wouldn’t know what to do with this space.

I’d rather have a small cozy flat than something like this.

I think it could work if you put up cool room dividers or floor to ceiling curtains? But I mean obvsly the owner couldn’t even really manage this space with all of this shit just laying around over in the corners, it’s not smartly used or anything.

A space like this would stress me out. I would not like to live there at all. I recently moved from a room that was too big for my things to a room that just barely fits all my furniture and I am much happier in the smaller room. My old room was consistently cluttered and I never knew what to do with the extra space. I felt anxious whenever I had to spend time there. This place would be like that but worse. The new room fits me. My boyfriend teased me about it, “everyone wants more space, but not little Wee.” Nope, not me. I like my comfortingly small room.  

A couple of months ago, I found out my favorite band was coming to town. I excitedly told my boyfriend that I was going to be buying tickets as soon as they were released. His reply? “Who the hell are The National?” Only the greatest band in my life, Monsieur! Clearly my freakish excitement got to him and he decided to surprise me with the tickets. I was over the moon. Saturday night was finally the night of the concert and it was pretty much the best date ever.

We headed over straight after work, grabbed some dinner at Subway, and just hung out. The concert started at 7:30. There were two opening acts which I did not care about AT ALL. Sorry. While we waited for the unknowns to finish their performance, we made fun of the hipsters, talked, played Crime City… Just entertained ourselves. The National finally came on at 9:45 and I was ridiculously happy. He made fun if me for being so bouncy, but I know he was really happy to see how excited I was. Hearing “Slow Show” (my favorite song and my favorite love song) live with him at my back, his arms around my waist? Pretty sure that’s in the top five moments of my life.

The one downside was the fact that our tickets were for standing room. Never again, he told me, as he crouched to view the concert from my level. You can’t really see much of the stage/show when you’re 5’2” and standing in the middle of the crowd. Next time we’ll make sure to get balcony seats for me and my height deficiency. But Saturday night? I was too happy to care.

(Picture credit goes to my 6 foot tall boyfriend using my iPhone)

It’s finals week and this is exactly how I feel. 

GPOY: “I feel really fucking cute today” edition

Also, I have an iPhone 4s. My life is complete. Blah, blah, blah, consumerism and all that shit. I don’t care. I have wanted this for so long and now I have it. :D

I want to see this movie because:

— Felicity Jones’ face! Her face is perfection. If I could steal another human’s face and wear it, I would steal hers. Because I can’t do that, I will go sit in a dark theatre and stare at it for 2 hours. That’s not creepy at all.

— The trailer warms my heart. Falling in love! It’s a beautiful thing, especially the movie-perfect first time. I feel sometimes like I missed out on that kind of easy, fearless, optimistic love. Both times I’ve fallen in love, it’s felt like a fight. I’ve never got to promise someone forever just because I was young and naive and really, really believed it. I’ve always been way too aware of all the ways it could end. But all that’s a different story. This is about me really enjoying watching people fall head over heels for each other.

— This trailer breaks my heart and I’m pretty sure the movie is going to make me ugly cry in a public place. I have a weird thing for movies that make me sad. They’re some of my favorites. But I always like to experience them alone, so I won’t be taking anyone else to see this with me. Those two hours are going to be mine. I haven’t seen a movie on my own in way too long. It’s one of my favorite things. 

I think my favorite feeling in the world is when, half awake, he moves a little closer and wraps an arm around my waist in the middle of the night. I never used to like cuddling. I always needed my space when I slept. But now? It’s a little harder to get to sleep when I’m alone. 

Also, I’m really excited for this movie. It looks like it’s going to be one of my favorites.

I’ve been on a country kick lately and my one friend who is a massive fan of country has a lot of fun giving me recommendations of songs and artists. Today he calls me up and asks, “How’s your day going?”

“Oh, fine, just working on some homework. Feeling pretty good.”

“I’m about to fuck your day up.”

“Hahaha, what?”

So he tells me to go to youtube and watch this video. He says to call him back when I’m done. Halfway through, I text him, “FUCK YOU,” because, dammit, I was crying a little bit. The video is so intensely emotional, even just to watch. I mean, that moment when Jennifer Nettles breaks down and has to stop singing for a second? That’s not even fair! Those aren’t beautiful studio created tears. That is raw emotion that we have no business seeing, but it’s there and it is STUNNING. 

Now, I manage to recover from watching that video. I listen to the song a few more times, download it (legally!), let a few more tears fall, then go about my day. Finish some homework, watch some Australia’s Next Top Model, go out to dinner with my boyfriend before he heads off to work. 

It’s late now and I’m just getting ready to go to bed for the night and this song just hits me again. Out of nowhere I start crying. Not the single tear from the corner of the eye kind of crying. No. More like the silent, tears streaming down my face kind of cry. The one that comes right before the ugly cry.

I don’t think I’ve ever had a song hit me like that, especially not after I’ve heard it a few times already. But this one just doesn’t want to let my brain go. It’s a little emotional terrorist, lodged right behind my eyes.

The worst/best thing about this song? It preys on those little thoughts I try to ignore. The ones I’ve pushed to the back of my mind again and again. The ones I pretend I’m over. I mean, I’m never been the other woman, but there are parts of this song that just make me say, “REALLY!? Really, Sugarland, you gotta make it this personal?” And the one line that is determined to stab me through the heart every I listen to it? “I’ve given you my best/Why does she get the best of you?” Like, fuck, man. I’VE SAID THAT. Not quite those exact words, but that exact sentiment. And that hurts like nothing else. 

So I just texted my friend “FUCK YOU” again. And now I’m going to try to get some sleep.