1. Frenchie (boyfriend started this one a long time ago and calls me this almost exclusively)

2. Bachman (inadvertent basterdization of my actual last name that everyone loved and never stopped using.)

3. Kid (as in Kidman because my name is Nicole and the wine guy at work thinks I’m pretty)

4. Nick-Nick (boyfriend’s nickname for me when he wants to be annoying)

5. Nicolean Dynamite (my manager is weird)

6. Ni (like the knights who say Ni)

7. Flea (because I explained to Jeff that the French term of endearment “ma puce” means my flea and he thought it was hilarious)

8. Nicki (uninspired compared to the rest, but I only let one person call me this) 

9. Wee (another nickname the boyfriend gave me, this one because I’m French and he can’t spell “oui” and because he thinks it fits me really well when I’m being ditzy/spacey/incompetent)

Basically, it’s now weird for me to hear anyone at work call me Nicole. It’s especially weird when my boyfriend calls me Nicole. Are you mad at me? Did I do something? Are you upset? What’s wrong?