Cancer

Me: I have this bump on the back of my head. I don't know what it's from. I don't think I've hit my head recently. It's freaking me out.
Boyfriend: It's cancer.
Me: ... It isn't cancer!
Boyfriend: Let me feel it.
Me: Fine... Ow! That hurts, ass!
Boyfriend: It's definitely cancer.
Me: I hate you.